Favourite facebook & twitter statuses… :)

“Yakkk I just step on those ugly snail!! I’m going to dieeeeee” this literally made me laugh out loud! Open-mouthed 

About Michael Jackson’s death: “Today, 370 000 babies were born. 1 adult died. Funny to see where the focus is.”

I accidentally cleaned my eye with toothpaste just a moment ago. My eye stings a little. Not recommended. G’night x

CANT BELIEVE SOMEONE STOLE MY WINDSCREEN WIPERS!! WAT IS THE WORLD COMMING TO!!! – omg!

 

“A dog
is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not
considered a good man because he is a good talker.”

What is the name of the next decade?
[2010s] I vote for Clive”

“Office life can make you want to vomit” Open-mouthed

“what do you mean I dont have a hobby? doesnt sex count?”

“…so my mum walked in while I was tooting the horn”

“Do people go out purely to take Facebook photos?”

“Friendship is like wetting yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you get that warm feeling that it brings. ”

“X is at this exact moment in time two girls short of a threesome”

“X just realised without the internet stalking people would be so much harder and risky ”

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