Scott H Young’s 4 Rules on People

  1. Rule One: People Mostly Care About Themselves
    Most of your time is spent  thinking about yourself, and the majority of the remaining time is spent thinking about your relationships; what others think of you, and how what they do affect you .Only a tiny sliver of thought is devoted to empathy and thinking about others or thinking through the perspective of another person.

    This means that no matter how important you think you are to a person, you occupy only a tiny percentage of a persons
    thoughts.
    On the plus side, this means that almost all people are far too self-absorbed
    to notice or remember if you’ve done a minor faux-pas, so there’s no point agonising over things that no-one else will care about/ remember.

  2. Rule Two: People are Motivated by Selfish Altruism
    People are motivated by self-interest. Self-interest is not incompatible with kindness though. We feel good when we observe others feeling good. We feel bad when we
    observe others feeling bad. We feel enjoyment and satisfaction by
    helping other people and by making other people feel happy.

    By studying primates, researchers noticed four main reasons why primates do something for their fellow primate.
    (a.) To show their own dominance:  “Look
    at how powerful I am that I can give some of my resources to help you.”
    (b.) To be able to call in favours: "You scratch my back, I’ll scratch
    yours."
    (c.) To make a trade: If we both have something the other person
    wants, we have a reason to interact.
    (d.) To help transmit your own genes: It makes sense, from an evolutionary perspective, to help those who might share your genes.

    This means that it’s usually unrealistic to expect others to be nice and good to you if it doesn’t appeal to the laws of selfish altruism in any way. Although there may be exceptions to every rule.

    Your social value isn’t your worth as a
    person, but what you have to offer in terms of other peoples needs and
    wants. Improve the value you offer and you can
    access the selfish altruism in us all.

  3. Rule Three: People Don’t Think Much
    Subconscious patterns, environmental stimulus and programmed reflexes
    are frequently behind our actions, even if we later say we thought carefuly before doing them. Therefore much of what we do is with little thought, anad not entirely intentionally.

    This means that appealing to a person’s thoughts doesn’t always work, since most decisions and actions are based on more than thoughts. To try and affect a person you’d need to appeal to the subconscious patterns, environment and other background features. Actions and putting yourself in a certain environment speak louder than words.

    Since people don’t think much, and especially not of others, you have to take care of yourself, and give people the reminders they need so you don’t get left out unintentionally.

  4. Rule Four: Conformity is the Norm
    You become your environment and change to fit the people around you.

    This means you should be careful who you pick as
    friends, partners and colleagues. This is why I believe it is important to keep a varied social group.
    When you interact with people from completely different backgrounds,
    beliefs and behaviors on a regular basis you are more likely to see
    different perspectives. This also means you have more control in
    picking who you want to be.

Source: Article by Scott H Young: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/four-rules-to-understand-what-makes-people-tick.html
Also: Scott Hughes http://searchwarp.com/swa323386.htm

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