Worst Analogies Ever Written in a High School Essay

  • He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
    who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
    those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
    speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar
    eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

  • The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
  • McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
  • From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
    surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and
    "Jeopardy" comes on at 7pm instead of 7:30.

  • Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. (eww!)
  • Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. (hahahaha)
  • He was as tall as a six-foot three-inch tree.

Source: http://euphoria-magazine.com/

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